"I knew someone once, met him in therapy," Rodney says as he digs through his underwear drawer. "He had names for all his dicks." He turns and looks at John. "You don't have a name for yours, do you?"

"Sure I do," John says without missing a beat. "I call it 'Sparkles, my Not-So-Little Pony.'"

"Asshole," Rodney says, going back to his search. "It just strikes me as kinda twee to name them, you know?"

Rodney has, John's noticed, several rather unsubtle code words for "girly."

"Other guys do it," John says. "But I never really saw the point."

"Thank you!" Rodney sounds triumphant and John's not sure if it's a response to his words or the fact that Rodney's found what he was looking for.

Rodney's back is to John and he watches as Rodney does something that causes him to wriggle a little. Given that he's wearing a rather snug pair of 501s John didn't even know he had, the sight is pretty incredible.

Even more incredible, however, is the way Rodney looks when he turns around. His jeans look like they're buttoned up, but one of his dicks is jutting out of the bottom of his fly. Although the idea of buttoning up around his dick makes John wince just a little, it still looks fucking hot.

"Jesus, Rodney!"

"Yeah?" Rodney asks, grinning as he reaches down to stroke his cock with one hand.

"Oh hell yeah," John says, his mouth already watering. "Get over here so I can suck you."

Rodney crosses the room quickly, but John still manages to be on his knees and ready by the time he reaches the bed. Close up, this particular dick looks fairly realistic, but then all of Rodney's dicks look, and feel, that way. It's not very fat, but it's a little long and, really, it's pretty much ideally shaped for sucking on. John leans in eagerly, lipping and tonguing at the head before closing his mouth over it and moving down.

John's not really sure when the taste of silicon became a turn on in and of itself, but now it totally is and he has to reach down and adjust himself before he gets serious about sucking Rodney off. That done, he slides his hands up the backs of Rodney's legs to his ass and grabs on, lowering his mouth over Rodney's dick and sucking hard.

It fits like it was made for his mouth and he moans around it, going lower and lower until he can feel denim rough against his lips and Rodney's cock nudging the back of his throat. He pulls back and goes down again and then again, and it gets easier with each pass as Rodney's cock gets slicker and John's mouth and throat get used to the invasion.

"God," Rodney says, breathing hard. "John...gonna move now."

John relaxes his grip on Rodney's ass and hums his approval. He loves that Rodney's the kind of guy who gets that there can be something selfish about a blowjob, that sometimes it's all about being on your knees with a hard dick riding your mouth until your jaw aches and your throat burns and your eyes tear up and you forget that you've ever been good at anything else. And, as Rodney slowly but steadily fucks John's face, John gets there, unaware of anything but Rodney's cock in his mouth and the harsh sound of Rodney's breathing.

Maybe, John thinks, moaning as he lets Rodney's dick work his mouth, maybe Rodney's wrong. Maybe they should have names.

Because really, we could call this one "the perfect mouthful."

-end-

Notes: Written the IJ Porn Battle, the prompt was: "SGA, John/Rodney, detachable penis." Also, in the prompt comment header, kyuuketsukirui made it clear she was looking for trans fic, so yes, this Rodney is post-op FtM. The title is a line from King Missle's song, "Detachable Penis." Using button fly jeans instead of a harness is a trick I picked up somewhere along the line. Provided your jeans are snug, it works surprisingly well.

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