"So," John says lazily. "I got a question for you."

"Mmmmm?" Rodney goes up on one elbow and looks down at him; Rodney looks happy and sated and a little sleepy and a lot disheveled, and, for a moment, John forgets his question.

"What?" Rodney finally says.

"You think Kirk's a top? Or a bottom?"

"What?!" Rodney gives him his very best "wow are you a moron" look, but John's lived with the guy for a couple of years now. He's immune to that look.

"With guys," John says. "Top or bottom?"

"And here I thought we'd covered everything."

They'd covered a lot, it was true. In fact, since they'd left the theater around three in the afternoon until just around midnight--when Rodney had finally pushed John over on his back and blown him enthusiastically before fucking him into the mattress--they'd talked about nothing but Star Trek. Well, except for an aside about how the new Terminator movie could very well suck but since it has Christian Bale in it, they'll be there opening night.

"Nope, didn't talk about that."

"That's because it's a ridiculous topic."

"No it isn't. Look, thanks to Chris Pine, I can finally think about Kirk and the word 'sex' in the same sentence, and so I got to thinking."

"He is kind of...."

"Cute?" John grins up at Rodney.

"In a sort of bland all-American way, yes, I suppose one could call him cute."

"So...?"

"So what?"

"Answer my question."

"Oh please." Rodney snorts. "Kirk's a slut. He bottoms for anyone who comes along."

"Spock," John says with a nod.

"You spend too much time online." Rodney flops onto his back. "Also? He rolls over for McCoy."

"Oh hell yeah," John says. "They totally have drunk buddy sex."

"I'd have drunk buddy sex with McCoy. Urban's McCoy, I mean."

"What about Sulu?"

"Would I have drunk buddy sex with him?"

"No, dumb ass. You think Kirk bottoms for him?"

"You are so weird. Have I mentioned that lately, because you totally are." Rodney sighs, as if John's weirdness is some kind of monumental burden. "Look, Kirk's a fucking man whore; he rolls ever for everyone." He pauses. "Except Chekov. Nobody rolls over for him."

"Duh."

"I'm done with this conversation," Rodney says. "And you? Are weird."

"You know who else he rolls over for?"

Rodney pulls a pillow over his head. "La la la la la...not lis-ten-ing."

"Uhura. You just know she's got a big ol' strap on."

Rodney's words are muffled. "Oh my God, you are such a fucking freak." There's a pause and then the pillow is cast aside and Rodney's looking at John. "Also? That is a totally smoking hot image."

"Mmmm...yeah." John pauses while Rodney puts the pillow back where it belongs and settles down again. "I think Spock and Uhura team up and do him. Kirk I mean."

"Will you shut up and let me sleep, you sick freak?"

John waits for a few minutes, until Rodney's breathing has begun to slow down.

"So, Batman? Top or bottom?"

It's just dark enough that Rodney manages to completely surprise John when he hits him with the pillow.

-end-

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